READ: The one where I lived in Bangkok

I have a Kiehl’s Calendula mask slathered on my face now, in my bid to repair my really-sibei-hopeless dry skin. So I thought OK, why not talk about my life between April – June 2017? I was based in Bangkok for what felt like a blink of an eye and it feels about the right time to reflect.

“Were you lonely?”

“I bet you shopped a lot right?”

“Wah, Bangkok shiok sia!” 

Above are the Top 3 exclamations when word gets out about my being in Bangkok (aka when I came home and people quipped they hadn’t seen me around in a while). My response to the above is typically: No, No and OK lah not bad.

Being a tourist holidaying in the land of smiles is a world of difference from being an adult human girl trying to get shit done. Many times, the root of all my frustrations in Bangkok stemmed from the cultural difference – at work to be super clear. Having to dive headfirst into a brand new team, culture and language was a more than I had expected, and on my first week I remember thinking: “I’m not doing this right.” I took a couple moments of self-deprecation and reboot to bounce back into my reason for being in Bangkok at all.

Of course, work aside, I took all opportunities to explore the crazy city in my own way – think Guavapass, splurging at good restaurants, spending Sunday mornings in Chatuchak, watching a local play, drinking where the locals drink, eating where the locals eat and getting a crap ton of massages.

I’m surprised I did not return as a bowl of mush with the amount of kneading that went down.

And it was when friends came over that I had the first of two breakdowns. I know right. You’re thinking: jangan drama eh Yun. Truth is, sometimes the reboots you hope for don’t happen, and you enter a state of despair instead.

It was scary then, to think about how consumed by work I was, and to date I’m learning to create a space of separation.

Yes I’m changing, can’t stop it now

And even if I wanted I wouldn’t know how

Another version of myself I think I found, at last